


you were growing, what happened dear

by Anonymous



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Alpha Grace Ryder, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Caring TK Strand, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Miscarriage, Mpreg, Omega Judd Ryder
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 03:48:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29878620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: His team wasn't the only thing Judd lost that day.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, Grace Ryder/Judd Ryder (9-1-1 Lone Star), Judd Ryder & TK Strand
Comments: 4
Kudos: 45
Collections: Anonymous





	you were growing, what happened dear

Ever since he and his dad moved to the 126, TK and Judd had grown incredibly closer, which was inevitable since they were having each other’s back in life-threatening calls daily. Being a close friend of Judd also meant being close with his family, from his amazing wife Grace to his wonderful daughters Willow and Jade who were able to steal anybody’s heart with a simple smile. Learning that Judd was an omega was a surprise to not only TK but the whole team as one would expect Grace to be the omega simply based on their immense height difference.

However, after seeing the two together and how Judd was ready to give Grace the entire world and how Grace was ready to fight the world so her husband was okay, it made complete sense. Despite his omega status, Judd was headstrong, stubborn and ready to fight anyone who tried to use him being an omega as a reason for their actions. If there was one thing the man hated, it was when people tried to protect him as though he was too weak to fend for himself, and sometimes TK wondered if that part of Judd was always there or if it was just something that manifested after the decimation of the original 126.

It wasn’t until one inconspicuous afternoon with the team and Carlos that he learnt the truth.

Carlos had come by during his break to eat with the crew and everyone was listening to Marjan and Paul as they traded stories of what they did before coming to the 126, Mateo occasionally chipping in with welcome commentary while the rest of them laughed along. As Paul came to the end of one of his stories, Carlos’ phone pinged with a notification, making him tap his boyfriend’s shoulder.

“Look, my sister just sent me an ultrasound of the baby,” he said excitedly, shoving the phone in front of TK’s face, “it’s still a bit early to see anything properly, but it’s still so exciting.”

“Of course you’re excited, you’re gonna be an uncle,” TK said with a loving smile.

“Do the rest of you guys want to see?” Carlos asked as he took the phone from TK.

After hearing affirmations from the rest of the team, Carlos turned the phone towards them, smiling proudly as he showed off his soon-to-be-niece. TK laughed lightly at the reactions of his crew and how their faces lit up at the blob on Carlos’ phone screen, but his smile wavered when he saw the look on Judd’s face.

The older man had a solemn expression on his face and at first glance appeared to be indifferent, except TK knew that out of all of them Judd would be the one most eager to see considering he had children of his own. Looking at his eyes, TK saw the pain and grief within them and knew that there was a deeper story here, that he didn’t know. Around the table, it seemed nobody else had caught on until his eyes caught Paul’s who looked concerned at how desolate Judd was.

Soon enough, the moment was over and everyone moved on to the next topic easily. TK went along with the atmosphere but couldn’t help but notice that Judd’s smile no longer reached his eyes, and his happiness now looked forced. He wanted desperately to be there for the man who he now saw as a brother, except he was unable to as he didn’t know what was going on and it was clear that Judd wasn’t ready for anyone to even know that something was wrong in the first place.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Carlos asked as TK walked him to his car, “you have this look on this face like you’re deep in thought.”

“I think something might be going on,” TK answered, choosing his words carefully, “but I don’t know for sure and I don’t want to overstep my boundaries so I’m just trying to figure out how I should go about this.”

“Judging from your words it’s something you can’t tell me, which I completely understand,” Carlos said with a small smile, “I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

“Do you really think I’m smart enough to work it out?”

“Nope,” Carlos replied with a teasing smile, “but you have a big heart and you’re always there for others so I trust that you’ll do the right thing.”

“I don’t know whether you just insulted me or if you complimented me.”

“That’s for you to decide,” Carlos kissed TK on his cheek before getting into his car.

“This isn’t fair, I want to see you more.”

“So does everyone else TK.”

Rolling his eyes, TK kissed Carlos one last time trading declarations of love before going back into the station with a dopey smile on his face. His smile fell when he saw Paul’s serious face as he walked through the entrance.

“What’s with the serious face?”

“While you were saying goodbye to Carlos, Judd retreated to the bunks,” Paul explained, sighing and crossing his arms in front of him, “he said that he just wanted some alone time, but I could’ve sworn I saw tears in his eyes while he was going.”

“Do you think we should go after him?”

“If it is about what I think it is, then I doubt any of us would be able to offer comfort to him.”

“And what do you think it is?”

There was a tense silence between the two men before Paul finally spoke up.

“Miscarriage. It makes sense considering that his mood soured when Carlos started showing off the sonogram and I bet if we weren’t wearing scent blockers, his scent would’ve soured too.”

Taking in Paul’s words, TK thought his next steps over carefully in his head before coming to a decision.

“I’m gonna go talk to him,” TK said with a nod of his head, “only intervene if it seems like he’s about to kill me.”

“Alright, good luck.”

Making his way to the bunks, TK tried to school his expression into something neutral so his face didn’t give away his true thoughts straight away. When he walked in, he expected Judd to be sitting down with his head in his hands, or silently brooding in one of the beds with his back to the door.

So he was slightly taken aback when he entered the room to see Judd curled up on the floor in a far corner of the room. Closing the door behind him, TK heard a noise which he soon registered as Judd’s cries which the omega tried to hide but to no avail. Taking a few small steps forward, TK sat on a bed a few feet away from where Judd was and looked at his hands awkwardly unsure of how to start the conversation. Judd was aware of his presence by now, so he sat there and waited for the older to let out all of his emotions.

A few minutes passed before Judd’s sobs quietened down to sniffles, the man wiping away his tears with the back of his hand. Uncurling from his fetal position, Judd looked up at the ceiling, pointedly avoiding TK before speaking.

“You know, most people pitied me after the explosion,” Judd started with a shaky voice, “talking ‘about Survivor’s Guilt and PTSD and how they wonder if I’ll ever be able to recover from what happened that night.”

“That’s why I didn’t tell anybody that my team wasn’t the only thing I lost that night. That’s why I never told anyone that I also lost a child.”

Judd choked up on the last word and his gaze fell back to the floor while TK suppressed a gasp, knowing that Judd didn’t currently need someone to talk to but rather someone to listen.

“Honestly, I don’t even know why I’m telling you. Even Grace doesn’t know. I didn’t know how to tell her that I killed our baby before I even got the chance to tell anybody about it,” Judd suddenly let out a pained laugh, “that was supposed to be my last call, you know that? After that call, I was gonna tell Grace that I was pregnant and ask my captain to put me behind for any upcoming calls. But I didn’t even get the chance.”

“I got so ridiculously attached to the child in the short amount of time I had it as well,” Judd’s voice had gotten quieter the more he spoke and TK could feel tears welling up in his eyes, “I even picked out two names, one for a boy and one for a girl, even thought about how excited the girls would be. It’s stupid isn’t it?”

“No Judd,” TK whispered, “it’s not stupid at all.”

“I already have two beautiful girls at home who are happy, healthy and alive, yet here I am crying over my unborn child.”

“Because you loved that child,” TK got up and crouched down next to Judd on the floor, “you loved that child Judd and you lost it and you have every right to grieve, screw what anyone else thinks. What matters here is your feelings and how you manage them.”

“What about Grace? I should tell her shouldn’t I?”

“Judd, miscarriage isn’t an easy thing to talk about. If you tell her tomorrow, next year or never, I will not hold that against you, nobody will. And if the time comes that you do tell Grace, she will not be mad at you for keeping this from her.”

“I hope she won’t be,” Judd said rubbing a hand over his face.

“I know that she won’t be,” TK clapped Judd’s shoulder before throwing his arm around the taller in a mock hug, “you want to stay in here for a while longer to gather yourself?”

“Just a few minutes and I’ll be ready to leave.”

“Okay, that’s fine, I’ll be waiting for you outside.”

Judd watched the young alpha jog out of the bunk room but not before turning and giving him a soft smile. Feeling as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, Judd got up from the floor and stretched out his limbs before stepping outside and back into the busy fire station.

And if Judd and TK shared secret glances and smiles for the rest of the shift, nobody said a thing.


End file.
